After a summer sabbatical, Nics and I are both acquitted of littering charges after disposing of a dead body on the Merritt. After 13 days of intense deliberation, the jury had announced they had reached a unanimous conclusion. Upon being read the verdict, Nics expressed relief, telling our journalist “wait did they say guilty or not guilty? What? You don’t know either? That’s why you don’t f***king ask me how my f***ing day is going when the judge is reading off his verdict”.
This blog, created to give back to the community, has fulfilled its purpose. Look outside. You see that birch tree over there? Me and Nics organized the squad that planted that little guy. Anytime you see Bamboo in Connecticut? That was us. Those cascading Pine trees? Hell me and Nics got a seperate blog dedicated to just pines (pinesonstrike.wordpress.com). California redwoods in Jersey? Look no further. Me and Nics have planted the seeds of a new beginning throughout the Eastern Seaboard. Just to totally be clear, the tree planting is a metaphor. We didn’t actually plant any physical trees.
The trees we planted have been appreciated by people from across the
country county. These people express gratitude to the blog for changing their outlook on life. The kind and forgiving American justice system has thusly granted us another chance at life. This blog, this godforsaken blog, can finally die its last death, all because of two words: not guilty. Thank you, readers. Thank you, America. Goodbye.