This isn’t me and Nics court mandated for soliciting a prostitute under false pretenses nature blog.
Forget all that. We were just joking. Me and Nics didn’t pretend to be politicians so we could get the congressional discount at a female escort service. Got ya! Hahaha. So back to the topic at hand… we should probably talk about why we are all really here: second chances and their importance in American culture.
There are over 30 races of trees in the world. To quote Forest Gimp, “trees are like a box of chalk” –
Wait forgot again. Forget all that. To be clear we don’t even have a nature blog. There is no need to search for it on google. Cause it doesn’t exist. Nicolo hates trees, I saw him stab one with a bayonet. I got that on film. To clarify this is our only blog. And me and Nics did nothing wrong. Nothing. Besides for the murder and subsequent littering charge that made us start this site.
So second chances. Some people say “chances are like assholes. Everyone gets one and some people get two. And the people with two need to get their shit together. Because no one gets three.” I am here to ask for everyone to give Governor Chris Christie a second chance. He made a mistake, and like any steak, we should digest it and expel it from our thoughts/small intestine. It’s the American way. It’s water under the bridge. Water under the half-closed, crash plagued bridge. The reddened water underneath, dead bodies flying over railings, families destroyed forever bridge. A Japanese Pilot once said “hatred is like a bonsai tree. It will grow if you let it plant its roots. Forgiveness is like the winter pine. It will grow if you let it plant its roots and uproot the – Bonzai! (explosion)” Pew pew! Booom! He died doing what he loved: dying. His legacy will forever live on in the people he killed. The funny thing about pine trees is there is so gosh darn many of them. According to recent estimates there are over 100 species of these little guys.
Shit I did it again. Shit. Sheeeeeeeit.
Aight I’m just gonna come out and say it. Me and Nics did attempt to solicit prostitutes under the guise of being senators from the South. We may have tried to hire them using our good looks and money (lots of money) to service us in the back seat of a car. Ford’s escorts, as the women are called, knew something was fishy when Nicolo started talking about how productive a day he had at congress. The police were involved and long story slightly shorter we were arrested and, as part of a plea deal, ordered to create a blog informing the internet about nature.
So in honor of second chances me and Nicolo ask that you keep reading this blog. And to respect nature.